At peace
by Diamarisanz
Summary: Coran mourns Allura, blaming himself. Allura visits Coran in a dream in order to give him a proper goodbye. Set a few hours after Allura's death.


**Author's note: Why must I do this to myself :,) S8 was a lot of things, I enjoyed most of it but one of the few things that bothered me was that Allura and Coran didn't say goodbye and our gorgeous man didn't get an epilogue. Anyways, have this bitter sweet oneshot. It took me awhile to finish it because my heart broke with every sentence. Oh well 😞 Enjoy! Feel free to leave a review or PM me if you wanna talk about s8!**

Coran couldn't sleep, he refused to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, she was all he could see.

 _Why? Why? Why? I was supposed to protect her. It should have been me. I... I didn't even get to say goodbye…_

All this and more flooded his thoughts. Coran suppressed his feelings around others. Especially the paladins. Everything had happened too fast.

Coran rubbed his eyes. He was tired. Everyone was. But they had done it. Allura had done it.

Coran didn't flinch as someone at the door knocked. It sounded soft but sure.

"Coran?" Shiro called. "Can I come in?"

Upon hearing no response, Shiro opened the door and walked it.

"Coran? It's nearly time for the coalition meeting. I'll be going with Krolia and Kolivan…I figured you and the paladins would like some rest."

Shiro spoke softly. It had been less than a day since they had returned from ending the war, it was still hard to believe. It was still too hard to accept.

Coran cleared his throat. "Thank you for telling me Shiro, I'll stay here. I'm not quite ready to face the coalition." He knew Shiro hadn't asked him to join them, but it still felt like he had an obligation to go.

Shiro put a hand on Coran's shoulder and offered a small smile. The young man also looked very tired and filled with sorrow. The difference between the two is that one was doing a better job of concealing his emotions. The older man nodded at him and Shiro excused himself.

As the door to his room closed, Coran sat down on his bed. How would he face the coalition, the rest of the paladins, Altea?

Coran stared at the door. He knew he wasn't the only one mourning Allura and yet it felt like he was the one hurting the most. Maybe he was. He had known her since the day she was born. He had been there to witness how much she had grown and everything she had accomplished.

Now he wouldn't watch her reunite with Altea, she wouldn't walk the bright fields again, she wouldn't scold or laugh. He wouldn't see her smile at him again.

Coran exhaled and slowly laid in his bed. It took him a while before he managed to close his eyes.

…..

Coran dreams were filled pleasant moments he had lived with Allura. Starting from when he first held her to before Altea had been destroyed. Once those memories had ended, he found himself in a nightmare.

He was alone in the dark and couldn't see anything. Slowly, he started to hear voices. At first, he couldn't understand them clearly. As they got louder and louder, Coran recognized the people who were yelling at him.

Coran recognized Melenor's voice sobbing, then Alfor voice yelling at him for falling Allura. Lastly, he heard Lance and Lotor's voice, claiming that Allura wouldn't be gone if he had done something, anything.

Coran did his best to run away from the symphony of enraged and desperate voices. Hot tears were streaming down his face. He shut his eyes and covered his ears. He wanted to scream.

Coran tried to control his shaky breath. As he did this, the voices faded away. Still, he refused to open his eyes.

"Coran?" a sweet voice called, but it wasn't just any voice. She sounded young and innocent.

Coran slowly opened his eyes and looked up. He wasn't surrounded by darkness anymore. He found himself beneath a starry night sky and in a field on Altea.

"Coran?" The voice called again, this time sounding a little older and concerned.

He looked around. "Allura?" He whispered.

Coran turned around, for a moment he felt as if his heart had stopped.

Standing just a few feet away from him was Allura. She was wearing her paladin armor and her hair was flowing loose in the wind. She was surrounded by a soft white glow that made her look surreal. She was smiling at him.

"Allura? Is it really you?" Coran asked.

She began to walk towards him and outstretched her hands.

"It is me, Coran. I'm here." Allura said softly.

Coran was left without words and fell to his knees, tears began to fall down his face.

Allura kneeled and wrapped him in a hug. Coran hugged her back tightly, doing his best to control his sobs.

"Sshhh. It's alright. I'm here." Allura whispered, her eyes watering.

"H-how?"

Allura smiled at him. "That doesn't matter now. I came because I don't want you to blame and hurt yourself… you deserve a proper goodbye… you deserve to be at peace."

Coran looked at the young woman as he felt his heartache. Like a stone falling into the depths of the sea.

"I should have been there, I should have done something. I failed to protect you, I'm so sorry Allura."

Allura smiled sadly. "I know, Coran. But you must know, you aren't to blame. I made my decision. I hate to see you like this."

The older man lowered his eyes, feeling a bit ashamed. "I'm sorry." He said again.

Allura tilted her head and encouraged Coran too look at her, thinking of a way to help him feel better. She looked around in the field and found juneberry flowers. Taking one in her hands and gently picking it, Allura took in its scent and smiled.

"Coran? Do you remember when I was little, I would get sad when people picked them?"

Coran chuckled softly. "How could I forget. You would tell your mother that the flowers were dying. It wasn't until she explained that the seeds from each flower would create new ones and, in that way, the previous juneberries lived on."

Allura smiled and placed the flower in Coran's hands.

"My case is similar. It came with a cost, but it will allow everyone to grow and live. The universe's people will continue to exist, to learn, to love, even loose. I don't regret my choice."

Coran breathed in. "I know."

"But do you accept it?"

Coran didn't respond. How could he accept she was no longer a part of his daily life? That she wouldn't take her place as queen of Altea and be with her people? With her friends? With their found family?

"It will take time, but only when you accept my decision will you be at peace."

It seemed like hours, the time they spent sitting together in silence. Knowing that the other was there. It was a while before Allura said anything else.

"Coran?"

"Yes?"

"I know I never said this enough but, thank you. For everything. You were a part of my life for so long, you were always there. Just as much as father and mother. You are dear to me."

The older man and young woman smiled at each other.

"You mean a lot to me as well, Allura. It was an honor and pleasure to watch you grow. Not just into a beautiful young woman but as a strong, kind and brave leader."

Smiling, Allura tenderly kissed Coran's forehead.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked him.

"No." He said honestly. "but I think I'm ready to try."

Allura took his hands. The soft glow around her slowly intensified.

"I will always be you, Coran. I'll be with all of you."

Both the landscape and Allura started to slowly fade.

"What of altea?" Coran asked startled.

Allura grinned. "Altea couldn't be in better hands."

Coran's eyes became watery.

"Goodbye, Allura." He whispered.

"Goodbye, Coran."

…

The ginger man slowly opened his eyes. He was still laying in bed, his room dark. The vast sea of stars still engulfing the atlas.

Coran straightened up in bed. _Was it all a dream?_ It hadn't felt like one. Well, it had, but it also felt very real. She felt real. Out of the corner of his eye, Coran saw a juneberry flower on his bed next to him. He gently picked it up and brought it to his face.

 _Thank you._

It would take time, he would never stop missing her, but he knew she wouldn't want him to spend his life isolated and alone. He would honor her sacrifice, her life, work, and dreams. Coran would make sure no one would forget her, that Allura's legacy would live on.


End file.
